The Five Greatest Running Movies Never Made

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It has been awhile since Hollywood has produced a great movie about running.  Classics like Chariots of Fire, Running Brave, and Without Limits are good even after multiple viewings, but we would like to see many more movies made about running.  This week we created, and would like to submit, the following list of movies and plot summaries for Hollywood producers to consider.   The five greatest running movies never made:

1.  The Wizard of Awesome!

Young Dorothy has dreams of being a great runner and fashion icon.  A tornado carries her away to a magical land where she is trained by munchkins to compete in the Yellow Brick Road Race.  She will need all the brains, heart, and courage she can get to beat the flying monkeys and win.  If she wins, the Wizard of Awesome will give her a pair of ruby red racing flats making her the fashion icon she has always wanted to become.

2.  Run Free or Die Hard “On the Back Stretch”

John McClane is back but this time he must race the terrorists in a winner take all 5K.  McClain believes he is racing to save his daughter Lucy until he discovers their true intent is to drain all the money from the United States Olympic Committee.  John has survived falling out of airplanes, jumping off of buildings, and even glass shards in his feet, but nothing could have prepared him for the suffering he must endure in the final mile.

3.  The Empire Strides Back

Luke Skyrunner is the only hope for the Running Rebels to defeat the evil Darth Raiders at the far away Galaxy Games.  Obeying the wishes of his dead coach Obi-Win-Kenobi, Skyrunner travels to the Degobah system to train under legendary coach Yoda Lydiard.  But when he receives word that his teammates Han Solo and C-3PR are in trouble he must make a choice and risk turning to the dark stride of the force.

4.  Slumdog Marathoner

A Mumbai teen runs his way out of the slums to become India’s greatest marathoner.  He is arrested on suspicion of cheating but during his interrogation, events from his life history show how he came to be a runner and trained in the most unlikely circumstances.

5.  Gone Like the Wind

The beautiful and spoiled Scarlet O’Hara believes she can have any man she desires.  Living a life of luxury just before the American Civil War, she is weak, frail and unable to run a mile without stopping.  When the man she loves rejects her to marry his super fast cousin, Scarlet is devastated.  Determined to become strong and never be hurt again, she turns to the handsome and unconventional coach Rhett Butler who will teach her to run and break free from the social conventions of the time.

Plot summaries we have yet to write include:

  • Harry Potter and the Hash House Harriers
  • Lock Stock and Two Smoking 5Ks
  • Shade Runner
  • Jurassic Powerbar
  • Raging Redbull
  • Cool Down Luke
  • Schindler’s Lactate Threshold
  • Racing Nemo
  • Fast Feet Nation
  • Forrest Bonk
  • V is for VO2 Max

Contributed by Dennis LaRue Jr.

  • Fartleks With the Enemy
  • The Fast and the Fried
  • Intervals With A Vampire

Which of these movies would you most like to see?

7 Responses to “The Five Greatest Running Movies Never Made”

  1. Phil Reilly

    Still hoping for the movie adaption of Chasing Ghosts.

    Reply
  2. Sierra Stevens

    I kind of like the idea of the Harry Potter one…then again I am just a simple girl in love with the Harry Potter Series and running….

    Reply
  3. Chris Schroll

    I like the Slumdog Marathoner. It actually sounds like it could be a legitimate movie.

    Reply
  4. Timo Mostert

    How about “Spikes of Glory”, where two rivals lose their sponsor contracts after a DQ for throwing elbows and punches in a race. They decide to train together and “stick it to the Man (read shoe companies)” by going for an American record in the Olympic 5000m.

    Reply
  5. Laptop_Monkey

    How about the “Bruise Brothers”

    Reply
  6. Sierra Stevens

    Wait! I have one! War of the Form! It’s about two guys who have to out run an alien race but with their terrible running form can they do it? Would they be able to fix their form in time to win the race for the survival of humans???

    Reply
  7. Dave

    On a more serious note, I would love to see a movie made from the book, “The Perfect Mile.” The three runners that were chasing the 4:00 mile mark would make for great entertainment even today.

    Also, V is for VO2 Max would be thrilling.

    Reply

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